i love a guy with an accent

July 29th: new fishy :)

he's pretty, but does not yet have a name

i have a busy weekend ahead, which i'm pretty excited about. i'm going to do my best to try to relax and not let my mind wander to all the worries in my life.

The Starfish Story

adapted from the writings of Loren Eiseley

As a young boy and girl walked along a beach at dawn, they noticed an old man ahead of them picking up starfish and tossing them into the sea. Catching up with the man, the girl asked why he was doing this. The old man explained that the stranded starfish would die if left in the morning sun.

“But the beach goes on for miles and there are thousands of starfish,” exclaimed the girl. “How can you alone make any difference?” The old man looked at the starfish in his hand and then tossed it safely into the waves. He turned to them, smiled and said,

“I made a difference to that one. ”

and now, i'm 22

July 26th: dinner at rachel's

July 27th: my birthday

cake with ariel and soccer players, courtesy of my nieces

July 28th: photoshoot with campbell; birthday flowers from the boy

well, i'm 22. still unemployed (i think if i was going to get that job, i would have heard by now). feeling more worthless and confused most days. watched the runaways the night before my birthday and remember me on the night of my birthday. both good movies. remember me was really good. depressing, but good. i feel like time is running out for me to start my life. but i keep telling myself if i don't teach this coming year, it won't be the worst thing ever. i haven't really gotten anything for my birthday because my family party is this saturday. i also am not doing much work for jennifer, so i've been bored for lack of better words. also reading eat, pray, love a lot which is a really good book.

"is is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection."

to infinity, and beyond

yes, i saw toy story 3 this evening with sky, cam, laura, and brian. it was a really great movie i thought. i'm only disappointed we didn't get to see it in 3D cause i bet that would have been really awesome. overall, i was entertained.

July 21st: campbell's tiny bite out of her PB&J

July 22nd: skylar striking a pose

July 23rd: geese swimming towards us during a morning at the park

July 24th: ridiculously nice house i babysat at

that is a fireplace on the outside patio

July 25th: new book

i'm sitting here in the sunroom with skylar watching dora the explorer. she's pretending to give me some of her granola bar and then snatching it away. children are so easily amused, ha. sometimes i wish i were young again. i have had a pretty good past few days. i love starting days off with park time, geese, frogs, hikes on unknown trails, playgrounds, and new moon. i love being with my nieces and nephews. i love a good book that i get engrossed in. all little pleasures of life. i wish i knew what to do with my life. i know i should email more schools, but i almost feel like it'll be too late. maybe not. and in my head i'm thinking it actually wouldn't be the worst thing if i didn't get a teaching job. i'll babysit jackson and campbell, live in brian and michele's bonus room, and save up money for the year until i figure out what to do. right now i've just been enjoying my summer and life (although i had a pretty rough past week for a few reasons) and that is bringing me happiness. gotta go hang out with sky (her and ky have stayed with us all weekend) and read some more of my book.

thank you, destiny

July 20th: skylar made me an anklet today

my interview will be over and done with in 12 hours. i'm nervous. i really wish i had more confidence in myself. not only am i nervous about the interview, but then what if i get the job? i'm nervous about setting up my classroom, dealing with parents, and in general just teaching. i absolutely love to watch children learn and grow, but will i be good at it? i wish i could replace doubt with confidence.

i also hope that teaching is what i want to do. what if i hate it? the only other 2 things i'd want to do is photography and writing, but who doesn't these days. plus, both are really hard fields to get into. or maybe i should have done preschool. God knows i love my nieces (and nephews). but i also think i will love teaching. it's been something i've wanted to do my whole life, so why doubt it? and why doubt my abilities? i need to know that i WILL be a great teacher and, although i know i'll have mishaps and bad days, i WILL change the life of a child.

now, i just need an interview outfit.

and, i really like the movie letters to juliet. it's the perfect amount of cheesiness and love. i hope it comes out on DVD soon.

let's celebrate

things have been hectic. and i got another job interview. wednesday.

July 16th: laura turned 20!

yes, her cake says ilaura

July 17th: babysitting for a cutie pie.

July 18th: laura's birthday party with the family

he's a cutie that needs a haircut

July 19th: dad said he sweated a lot when he worked out today (started the "insanity" workout program). he wasn't kidding.

after the rush of beach and birthdays, i'm ready to get back on track with a normal life. i like spontaneity and doing things out of the ordinary, but i also think i'm a creature of habit. i had today off, and didn't do much. i emailed a bunch of schools, got the call for an interview, read a lot of my book, played with the kiddies, sold a book online, and worked out. tomorrow i go back to work for jennifer, interview on wed/babysitting all day afterwards, and then working for jennifer the rest of the week i'm assuming. i can't believe my birthday is next tuesday. where did the year go? i have been thinking about some goals i want to set for the next year of my life, so we'll see where that takes me. off to read and sleep.

life's better by the beach

today i returned from a lovely few days on oak island. it was a lot of fun and i love being at the beach. i miss it, but in a sense i am again glad to be home, however much i do want to move out.

July 10th: babysitting for campbell. she loves mcdonalds.

July 11th: we found a baby shark on our beach walk

July 12th: me and the birthday girl

July 13th: some cute picture in our room.

it says: here with each new sunrise, life begins anew.

July 14th: beach

July 15th: bed time

tomorrow (or today) is laura's birthday, chris is coming, and i have to wake up super early to babysit. i'm actually not even sure why i'm still awake. i may be mad at myself in the morning. i also am not getting focused on finding a job after this weekend is over. i need to be proactive and just put myself out there. what's the worst that could happen? the beach was great, and the comment was made along the lines of what if this was our life? it'd be nice but it isn't reality. time to buckle down. i'm almost 22 and it's time to start living my new life.

when in doubt, daydream

July 9th: caribou outing with ivette

make today special :)

i really love the new caribou cups, decorations, and windows. i love reading all the quotes and just kind of sitting and pondering life. unfortunately, all my pictures that i wanted to print wouldn't work in walmart, so i'm going to try rite aid today i think. i also need to do laundry and pack for the beach today. skylar and campbell spent the night last night. they're still asleep. it was a great night hanging out with them, they're too cute. skylar just woke up so i gotta get the day started! happy saturday.