i love a guy with an accent

July 29th: new fishy :)

he's pretty, but does not yet have a name

i have a busy weekend ahead, which i'm pretty excited about. i'm going to do my best to try to relax and not let my mind wander to all the worries in my life.

The Starfish Story

adapted from the writings of Loren Eiseley

As a young boy and girl walked along a beach at dawn, they noticed an old man ahead of them picking up starfish and tossing them into the sea. Catching up with the man, the girl asked why he was doing this. The old man explained that the stranded starfish would die if left in the morning sun.

“But the beach goes on for miles and there are thousands of starfish,” exclaimed the girl. “How can you alone make any difference?” The old man looked at the starfish in his hand and then tossed it safely into the waves. He turned to them, smiled and said,

“I made a difference to that one. ”

and now, i'm 22

July 26th: dinner at rachel's

July 27th: my birthday

cake with ariel and soccer players, courtesy of my nieces

July 28th: photoshoot with campbell; birthday flowers from the boy

well, i'm 22. still unemployed (i think if i was going to get that job, i would have heard by now). feeling more worthless and confused most days. watched the runaways the night before my birthday and remember me on the night of my birthday. both good movies. remember me was really good. depressing, but good. i feel like time is running out for me to start my life. but i keep telling myself if i don't teach this coming year, it won't be the worst thing ever. i haven't really gotten anything for my birthday because my family party is this saturday. i also am not doing much work for jennifer, so i've been bored for lack of better words. also reading eat, pray, love a lot which is a really good book.

"is is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection."

to infinity, and beyond

yes, i saw toy story 3 this evening with sky, cam, laura, and brian. it was a really great movie i thought. i'm only disappointed we didn't get to see it in 3D cause i bet that would have been really awesome. overall, i was entertained.

July 21st: campbell's tiny bite out of her PB&J

July 22nd: skylar striking a pose

July 23rd: geese swimming towards us during a morning at the park

July 24th: ridiculously nice house i babysat at

that is a fireplace on the outside patio

July 25th: new book

i'm sitting here in the sunroom with skylar watching dora the explorer. she's pretending to give me some of her granola bar and then snatching it away. children are so easily amused, ha. sometimes i wish i were young again. i have had a pretty good past few days. i love starting days off with park time, geese, frogs, hikes on unknown trails, playgrounds, and new moon. i love being with my nieces and nephews. i love a good book that i get engrossed in. all little pleasures of life. i wish i knew what to do with my life. i know i should email more schools, but i almost feel like it'll be too late. maybe not. and in my head i'm thinking it actually wouldn't be the worst thing if i didn't get a teaching job. i'll babysit jackson and campbell, live in brian and michele's bonus room, and save up money for the year until i figure out what to do. right now i've just been enjoying my summer and life (although i had a pretty rough past week for a few reasons) and that is bringing me happiness. gotta go hang out with sky (her and ky have stayed with us all weekend) and read some more of my book.

thank you, destiny

July 20th: skylar made me an anklet today

my interview will be over and done with in 12 hours. i'm nervous. i really wish i had more confidence in myself. not only am i nervous about the interview, but then what if i get the job? i'm nervous about setting up my classroom, dealing with parents, and in general just teaching. i absolutely love to watch children learn and grow, but will i be good at it? i wish i could replace doubt with confidence.

i also hope that teaching is what i want to do. what if i hate it? the only other 2 things i'd want to do is photography and writing, but who doesn't these days. plus, both are really hard fields to get into. or maybe i should have done preschool. God knows i love my nieces (and nephews). but i also think i will love teaching. it's been something i've wanted to do my whole life, so why doubt it? and why doubt my abilities? i need to know that i WILL be a great teacher and, although i know i'll have mishaps and bad days, i WILL change the life of a child.

now, i just need an interview outfit.

and, i really like the movie letters to juliet. it's the perfect amount of cheesiness and love. i hope it comes out on DVD soon.

let's celebrate

things have been hectic. and i got another job interview. wednesday.

July 16th: laura turned 20!

yes, her cake says ilaura

July 17th: babysitting for a cutie pie.

July 18th: laura's birthday party with the family

he's a cutie that needs a haircut

July 19th: dad said he sweated a lot when he worked out today (started the "insanity" workout program). he wasn't kidding.

after the rush of beach and birthdays, i'm ready to get back on track with a normal life. i like spontaneity and doing things out of the ordinary, but i also think i'm a creature of habit. i had today off, and didn't do much. i emailed a bunch of schools, got the call for an interview, read a lot of my book, played with the kiddies, sold a book online, and worked out. tomorrow i go back to work for jennifer, interview on wed/babysitting all day afterwards, and then working for jennifer the rest of the week i'm assuming. i can't believe my birthday is next tuesday. where did the year go? i have been thinking about some goals i want to set for the next year of my life, so we'll see where that takes me. off to read and sleep.

life's better by the beach

today i returned from a lovely few days on oak island. it was a lot of fun and i love being at the beach. i miss it, but in a sense i am again glad to be home, however much i do want to move out.

July 10th: babysitting for campbell. she loves mcdonalds.

July 11th: we found a baby shark on our beach walk

July 12th: me and the birthday girl

July 13th: some cute picture in our room.

it says: here with each new sunrise, life begins anew.

July 14th: beach

July 15th: bed time

tomorrow (or today) is laura's birthday, chris is coming, and i have to wake up super early to babysit. i'm actually not even sure why i'm still awake. i may be mad at myself in the morning. i also am not getting focused on finding a job after this weekend is over. i need to be proactive and just put myself out there. what's the worst that could happen? the beach was great, and the comment was made along the lines of what if this was our life? it'd be nice but it isn't reality. time to buckle down. i'm almost 22 and it's time to start living my new life.

when in doubt, daydream

July 9th: caribou outing with ivette

make today special :)

i really love the new caribou cups, decorations, and windows. i love reading all the quotes and just kind of sitting and pondering life. unfortunately, all my pictures that i wanted to print wouldn't work in walmart, so i'm going to try rite aid today i think. i also need to do laundry and pack for the beach today. skylar and campbell spent the night last night. they're still asleep. it was a great night hanging out with them, they're too cute. skylar just woke up so i gotta get the day started! happy saturday.

keep it in, keep us safe

July 7th: dinner with rachel

July 8th: inside of my broken camera

i was trying to take it apart to fix it, but it didn't work. i miss it.

well. i've been keeping busy doing work for jennifer. about 80 elementary jobs opened up in CMS. i put pretty much every single one of my application. now i just need to go through, email principals, and look more into surrounding counties. it'd be nice to have a job by now since school starts in a little over a month. where is summer going? i'm going to try to be really productive this weekend before i go to the beach on sunday. and it's late and bed time. and i love listening to the xx.

there's no place like home

after being away for a long weekend, it's good to be home.

however, memories were made.

July 1st: campbell taking pictures on my camera

July 2nd: on the way to hendersonville; mountain scenery

July 3rd: chris' pool/chris' family reunion day

July 4th: sliding rock. freezing cold water. america's birthday.

July 5th: night out with chris' friends. tropical margarita at chili's

July 6th: pretty sky on the drive home

it was an eventful and tiring weekend. friday night i enjoyed 4th of july come early at an asheville tourists baseball game with fries, dip-n-dots ice cream, america's past time, and a firework show at the end. it was pretty great. the weekend then got busy with chris' family reunion and graduation party. on sunday morning we went to sliding rock in asheville which is this huge rock that has a flow down into a river area. the water is about 50 degrees, so i was naturally dreading it. but it was such a rush and literally took my breath away when i was plunged into the freezing pool of spring water. but it was really fun and i'm glad i did it. this 4th of july was very different for ones in the past, but not necessarily in a bad way. however, i am happy to be home. i have the beach to look forward to on sunday. not to mention trying to figure out what to do with my life. happy birthday america.

"I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of stars makes me dream"

better late than never

June 26th: hello there neil

June 27th: only a portion of how messy the house was for the weekend without the parents

June 28th: trying on outfits for twilight party

i was bella. oh, and a loser obviously.

June 29th: twilight party. victoria, jane, edward, bella, and alice.

we also had rosalie, emmet, and jasper not pictured.

and we went to the midnight premier of eclipse like this. don't judge.

June 30th: ivette and i's art at caribou.

i can't believe it's already july. where did june go? i turn 22 in 27 days. i still don't have a teaching job. i'm more and more toying with the idea of moving somewhere, just escaping. but i'd miss everyone so much. eclipse was amazing. i can't wait to see it again. and for it to come on DVD, haha. i just love how artistic the movies are and this one really stayed true to the book. i have to go work for jennifer again today. and i'm sort of babysitting right now. and then going to hendersonville for the weekend...chris' family reunion and graduation party, and the 4th of july. i'm sad i'm missing my family's celebration, but hopefully the weekend will turn out okay. i've gotten like 11 hours of sleep in the past 2 days, so i see a nap/early bedtime in my future. happy july 1st!